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  IntroductionBereavement Reactions of Survivors Normal Bereavement Reaction Additional Stress Factors Affecting Survivors Effective Service Delivery to Survivors of Homicide Victims |
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As in all types of crisis, survivors experience their loss in a variety of ways but violent death always produces deep and bitter grief. Nothing could ever prepare a survivor for the day they find out their loved one has been murdered. Death of a young person is always a shock because young people are supposed to grow old. The murder of an elderly person is always a shock because they should die of natural causes, not at the hands of a violent criminal. The
cruelty of the act of murder compounds the sense of sorrow and
loss for the survivor and these feelings are exacerbated by
the acute feelings of injustice, distrust and helplessness.
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The common response to any extraordinary trauma is crisis. The long-term effect of the crisis is influenced by a number of objective and subjective factors, such as: The
intensity of the event. The
suddenness of the event. Whether
the event was anticipated or not. The
ability to understand the event. The
state of mind prior to the event.
Obviously
learning of a loved one's murder is intense, sudden and beyond
understanding. Therefore, most survivors face a long period
of emotional struggle to reconstruct a devastated life. 1. Shock & Numbness
Judgment-making is difficult; limited concentration Functioning impeded ("robot" or "zombie") Emotional outbursts Stunned feelings 2. Searching & Yearning Very
sensitive to stimuli (note what is said, done, not said, not done
by others) Experience temptation to think of mourning as a disease Unsure of self; desire to flee from reality that death of loved one occurred 4.
Reorganization (May take
1-2 years after death of loved one; individual reactions
are different in this phase)
Sense
of release or no longer obsessed by loss
Renewed energy Can problem-solve and make decisions based on options Return to sleeping and eating habits of pre-emotional period All of these phases may peak - on anniversary dates, birthdays, graduations or other significant dates in the family system. Phases can overlap. Grief
reaction is unique to the individual - each person experiences
it a little differently and certainly not always in the
order listed above.
[Return To Top] ADDITIONAL STRESS FACTORS AFFECTING SURVIVORS For many survivors, the strongest point of focus for their feelings is overcoming their loss and with this normal focal point of nearly all grieving, the normal range of grieving emotions, including guilt-inducing sense of anger at the person who died, is present.
For those who cannot imagine life without that loved
one, ideas of suicide are common. For most survivors,
the distress attributable to the murder itself is compounded
by a number of other stressors:
Method of death notification - often insensitive or incomplete because of the need law enforcement to get on with the investigation. Impact on other life changes - there may already be other problems among survivors, such as, divorce, unemployment and illness, which become intensified. Unwanted and untimely demands - Such things as identification of the body, funeral arrangements, medical or ambulance bills, notification of family and friends, etc... Necessary role changes - Perhaps the murdered loved one handled all the finances and business of the home, or the child rearing. Perhaps a son now has to become "the man of the house". Financial stress - This is especially true when the victim was the sole or primary source of income. Medical and funeral expenses become a factor of well. Misguided
compassion - Those who turn to religion often
hear such statements as, "It was god's will",
"Your loved one is better off fin heaven",
etc... These often alienate the survivor not only from
the person speaking but from their faith. Some survivors
report that they are advised to "forgive the murderer"
or "pray for his redemption". Such
advice is not only infuriating but painful to hear.
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There
are a number of ways in which a victim assistance program can provide
support and services to the survivors of homicide victims. The following
are just some of the recommendations of what type of services should
be offered to these victims:
Be knowledgeable as possible about the case before you speak to the family. The family will ask you questions, if you can answer them from your knowledge of the case, then do. If you do not know the answer be honest and tell them that you do not know but you will try and find out as soon as possible and let them know. Maintain
consistent contact with the family. If you do say you are
going to call at a certain time or on a certain day, then
do that.
Keep
the family informed of all court proceedings through written
and telephone contact. Explain each of the court proceedings
thoroughly; you may have to do this more than once. If there
is a continuance or postponement of a court date, inform
them with as much advance knowledge as you can. Explain
your function as clearly as possible. Follow up your initial
contact with a letter that reiterates what you have told them
about the court proceedings. Make sure that you include how
and when they can reach you - do not assume they will know
your office hours. If there is a number that can be called
24 hours, such as a crisis line or support group number, it
may be helpful to include that.
Familiarize yourself with the grief responses following a homicide. Be prepared for the range of emotions and responses you may encounter from family members and significant others. be prepared to listen and to be empathetic without being sympathetic. Do not say, "I understand" - when you do not however, do tell the survivors that you are sorry the murder happened and that it is horrible that someone killed their loved one.  Do
not be judgmental about their reactions at any time.The family may need to talk about the deceased with you. They may need to show you pictures of the deceased, tell you stories and show you some personal affects of the deceased. Anticipate
that the feelings of the family may change over the course
of time throughout the court proceedings. Initial shock may
give way to anger. Initial acceptance may turn into hostility
and anger may be directed at you, particularly as you serve
as their link with the court system.
Make sure that the family has the opportunity to meet with the prosecutor handling the case. The prosecutor may not think of this as important, as the family members may not be actual witnesses in the case but it is very important to the family and their satisfaction with the system. Arrange this meeting at a time convenient with the family. Accompany the prosecutor at all meetings.
Be fully acquainted with the community resources available for survivors of homicide, especially support groups, for appropriate referrals. Assist the survivors with completing application to the State Crime Victim Compensation Fund for funeral bill reimbursement, etc... Additional
support may be needed around anniversary days or other significant
days. Call the survivors on these days or send a note acknowledging
that you are thinking of them.
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{1} Federal Bureau of Investigation (2002). Crime in the United States (2002). Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Justice, p.1. {2} National Organization for Victim Assistance (October 1985). Survivors of Homicide Victims. NOVA Network Information Bulletin. Washington, Author, p.1. {3}
Delaplane, David (1988). Victim Assistance: A Manual. Sacramento,
CA; The Spiritual Dimension in Victim Services, p.143.
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INTRODUCTION 
There
were 16,204 murders in the United States in 2002, which equated
to one murder every 30 minutes {1}. The death of a loved one
by violence is painful, unexpected and often senseless. 
Resistance
to stimuli in order to protect ego 